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Being a “Mature Mommy”

March 8, 2012

02/16/2011
the term is “Mature Mommy.” But, I wonder if that offends young parents because it infers that they are “not mature.” In any case, it sounds good, so I’m sticking with it.
Yes, I worried a bit about being a “Mature Mommy.” “it’s like riding a bike, you never forget,” a grandmother told me when I expressed some uncertainty about being an older parent. there are nineteen years between my last child and this baby. And, although she is correct when it comes to holding and caring, there are some unique differences.
1. I always put my babies on their stomach to sleep. The trend was to put them on their stomach so that they would not get a flat head. Now, there is the threat of SIDS. My baby boy loves to sleep on his stomach. there is something secure about sleeping on your stomach. I think that it has to do with the fact that little Azaan startles easily. when he jumps, his arms and feet fly up in the air which further disturbs him and he has a hard time falling back to sleep. Swaddlers work wonderfully, but I know that he will be too big for them soon enough. when he is on his stomach, the bed absorbs the disturbing shocks. I co-sleep. Yes, I bring the baby into bed with me every night. I have never rolled over on a child. Often I sleep with him on my chest. He is on his stomach then. I don’t want to go off on a tangent here. I wrote a post about co-sleeping. You can find it
My extensive post on co-sleeping There are many parents who co-sleep and Dr. William Sears, a prominent pediatrician, has done extensive research on the subject.For more information go HERE! Needless to say, this “back to sleep and tummy to play,” is new to me.
2. Where on Earth did those drawstring night gowns go? Does anyone remember the baby clothes that had no feet places. You just zipped or tied the bottom. the baby’s feet could kick around, but they were warm inside this … … sleeping bag with arms … kind of clothes. I can’t find any and they sure would come in handy now. My baby is experiencing his first cold and a comfortable, warm, non-outfit type of clothing would be nice. and, to make matters worse, he is in that “in between” stage where “newborn” is too small, but “3months” is too big. I just want a versatile night gown type of clothes for him. I understand that they might have discontinued the drawstring variety because they might have been unsafe. but, a zipper would do the trick and, yes I have heard of the sleep sacks, just can’t find them. .
3. speaking about colds and baby medicine, twenty years ago there was one medicine brand and the dosage was memorable. Now, there are many brands with different strengths of acetaminophen, which results in having to give the child a dose comparative to the amount of pain reliever that is in the medicine. for a blind person, this just complicates things. Gee, can’t they just make it simple?
4. Giving your infant about 4oz of water weekly was recommended. Now, it is recommended that you don’t give your infant water at all, or at least until they are drinking out of a cup. Similarly, it was recommended to give your baby juice at 3/six months of age. Now, the recommendation is to stay away from juice for at least a year.
5. vaccinations have increase from 5 to twelve and some are given every two months instead of every three. while I will give the vaccinations (I am not advocating no vacs, that would be irresponsible), Yet, it is interesting to note that Americans go to the Doctor more than any other culture for pains and sickness and we also give our babies the most vaccinations. Of course, there are other factors, but still, interesting parallel. for more information, check out Dr. Bob Sear’s “The Vaccination Book.” It is an interesting read. .
6. The trend use to be to start your child on rice cereal at about 3 or 4 months. Now, you should not give food until 6 or 7 months and it should be either sweet potatoes or bananas. Start the rice later.
7. what is the latest advice about walkers??? they were recommended to help baby walk 19years ago, but I don’t know about now. I think experts say that they can hinder your child in walking. I am not sure!
8. this is a small thing, but it use to be recommended (when LO came home from the hospital) to use alcohol on his little umbillical cord stump to make it fall off. Now, we use nothing and let it fall off naturally.
9. wipe warmer, swaddler blanket, nursing cover, bottle warmer, video monitor, pack&play, high chair&shopping cart covers, bouncy bumble seat, jumping seat, Boon squirt spoon, organic baby clothes, various wraps&carriers, wrist/ankel rattles, … etc.
As an older parent, I seem to be less selfish with my time. I let my housework lapse for days, if necessary — and it usually is. I hold my LO much more and I don’t listen to those who say “you will spoil him.” Yet, at the beginning, I was an anxious worrywart. I had forgotten some things and wanted to be extra careful about everything. I forgot how much he should eat when he comes home. I forgot how many diapers he should be going through. I forgot about the little bumps they get on their face. I forgot how to handle cradle cap. I forgot the appropriate dose of medicine to give him for decongestion (which happens to be *none) and/or when he is in pain. I was anxious about his sleeping and eating times. I was anxious about his weight gain — or lack there of. and, yes, I will admit it, I was anxious about the car seat straps diggin into his little delicate newborn shoulders on the way home from the hospital. [note: my daughter found these cute little monkeys to go on the straps so that a softer material is nect to his skin— and I would take a picture of him in the car seat, but he hates being in there. Maybe I will try to have her take a pic of the car seat by itself]. [I would post a link, but I don’t even know what they are called and didn’t get anywhere when I looked for them at ToysRUS].
But, I am not worried about him reaching the developmental milestones. I am not in competition with any other baby. I am not worried about spoiling him too much. I am not worried about missing out on all of the adult interaction. I am not worried about my post pregnancy weight.
Yes, I probably have less energy than I did in my 20’s. That means, I can’t stay up all night on the telephone and have a productive day with baby. So, I just prioritize: “It is all about Baby.” this also means that I sometimes can’t make a meal from scratch. and, yes, sometimes, I stay in my nightgown all day long! My shoulders ache and my back hurts much of the day. No, this is not a hint to DH that I want to follow in my friend J’s footsteps and purchase a $4,00 temperpedic bed with our tax refund. I am just stating the truth. when I was in my 20’s, I could carry my 2yo a mile to the store, purchase groceries (that my older children would lug back home) and carry my little toddler a mile back home from the grocery. Azaan is only 3mo, but that just is not happening.
I would love to hear any tips from other “Mature Mommies.” Also, you can leave comments to add to my list.

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4 Comments
  1. It’s been 7 years between my kids and I agree a lot has changed. I agree about not worrying a out the milestones they will get there when they are ready.

    • jamily5 permalink

      Hi Erika, I’d love to comment on your bglogspot blog, but I can’t get past the capcha thing.

  2. jamily5 permalink

    the links are not correctly put in, I don’t know what I did wrong, but I will fix it as soon as I get time. You can go to my blog at http://www.goridesirishta.wordpress.com and you can also check out http://www.askdrsears.com Sorry, again. Remember, I am just learning how to do these things.

  3. jamily5 permalink

    the links are now fixed.

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